What Role Are You Playing?
Is it empowering you?
It’s been a wild and crazy ride.
I’ve been doing soul-searching and figuring out what this message is I have inside.
What do I have to share with you that’s not just more babble in a sea of babbling?
What are my core values?
For that matter, who am I at my core?
These are the kinds of things that keep me up at night…
And the reason I want to share with you today, what I’ve learned about role-playing and empowerment.
My message has always been about empowerment.
Life may steamroll you, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have what you want.
It doesn’t mean you can’t be inherently happy.
What led me here?
It’s been crazy.
I moved and was without internet for about a month. That slowed me down in my biz quite a bit.
Turns out it was a good thing.
Because it gave me time to slow down and see what I’m about…
What I’m doing.
I’ve been struggling for awhile.
I ended up hanging out with my brother for a year or two. I haven’t spent much time with him for the past 25 years.
My brother was my hero. In fact, if you read the dedications in the front of my printed books, I believe he gets credit in all three of them – for being my rock and the reason I survived my childhood basically unscathed. He was my rock; my link to sanity.
So imagine how heart-wrenching it was the day he told me:
When you told me you’re moving, I was glad; because your attitude sucks.
I took it on. I took responsibility for it. Because he was right.
Because taking responsibility for my shit – and everyone else’s – is just what I do.
Accepting excuses for treating me badly? Yep. I do that, too.
I was pretty excited about being back with my family at first, but all in all, it was fairly disempowering and epicly heart-breaking.
It started out as a confidence boost – feeling unconditional love again was amazing. But before long, it all fell apart.
Role-Playing. What’s Your Character?
I’m figuring out now, that it’s because I took back on my child character – the role assigned to me as a child.
Even before I left, I realized that my family expected me to act a certain way – because that’s how they’d always seen me; and I played into it.
The trouble is, that role doesn’t feel like me. It doesn’t feel like the person I am at my core.
When I was on my way out the door, my mantra became:
What you think of me, is none of my business.
Meaning: Just because you expect me to act in a certain way – to BE a certain way – doesn’t mean I have to play that role. I get to decide who I am and who I’m BEing.
Role Playing Makes an Appearance in My Move
When I moved, I noticed a strange phenomenon:
The friend I’m rooming with, who’s like a sister to me, was not the person I expected her to be. She was much different than I remembered her from when we were roommates years earlier.
I felt I knew her well. Now, it was as if some alien was inhabiting her body.
I felt as if I no longer knew her.
It brought me back full circle to the role-playing theory.
She too, had relocated back to her roots – to her family.
She was the oldest and basically raised her three younger brothers. So rather than the easy-going, fun-loving person I had gotten to know, here was this stressed-out, bossy, “I know what’s right for you and you’re gonna do it,” overpowering person in front of me.
Typical of an older sister, right?
But I was shocked. She didn’t seem like the person I’d gotten to know years earlier.
Which got me to thinking more on this “roles” stuff.
My Childhood Role and How it Affected Me
My dad had always identified me as rebellious. I remember him telling me, “I worry about you, because you’re a follower.”
Which was laughable to me.
My friends laughed too, because “follower” is just not who I am.
Yet these last few weeks, as I look closer, I see how I had let my former boyfriend’s opinion get me off track. When we were discussing my message of empowerment, he told me:
Women already have all the power.
I let it throw me completely off-track.
More recently I was told, “You can’t be a life coach until you get all your shit together.”
Now, I know that’s not true. If you’ve been following me for awhile and read some of my early posts (on HappySexyLife), you’ll see that I’ve always said:
[bctt tweet=”You only have to be a step or two ahead of someone to give them a hand up.”]
In fact, I suspect the day I “get all my shit together,” is the day I’ll leave this earthly plane. Because what reason do I have to be her once I’ve learned all there is to learn?
I let that one throw me off track for a minute, too. (Just for a minute though)
So am I a follower?
But I still don’t think so.
I think it’s more a matter of falling into the role I was programmed to play.
So what about you; what role are you playing that no longer feels like you and no longer serves you?
Leave a comment and let me know.
I have a feeling that we’ll be talking lots more about role playing in the future. In fact, I have a sneaking suspicion that this will become a big part of my message and tie into how I’m here to serve.
But for now, I’m stepping back into the role of empowerment.
I’ve created a free mini-course called, 5 Secrets for Getting What You Want. Because I believe life will steamroll us, but we are perfectly empowered to get back up, dust ourselves off and get back in the game.
Whether you’ve been struggling to:
- lose weight
- find love
- start a business, or
- jumpstart the business you’re in.
5 Secrets for Getting What You Want, will give you powerful tips to finally make it happen.
You can click the image below to sign up and receive the mini-course by email (+ get an invitation to join my Facebook group, Loving Life to get encouragement, support and free coaching).
Or… because I know so many of us are inundated with email and so often, it just becomes lost in the noise, you can come back tomorrow and read the first lesson right here on the blog. And you can still get free coaching by leaving a comment.
But if you want to get started today, and if you want to be part of my top secret community, where your comments are “for our eyes only,” you’ll want to hop on that email train, Baby. Because Loving Life is a secret group, so only those of us in the group will be able to see your deep, dark secrets.
Either way, I want you to get the help – and the empowerment – you need to get your life on track.
Life Enthusiast &
Certified Life Coach